And You Held Me

I have a confession:

It doesn’t feel much like Easter to me right now. I am struggling to engage with this season. For some reason, it feels like I have been railing against it, unwilling to let it permeate who I am. Which is a really stupid thing to do, even if I do say so myself, because this is the thing that defines me. I’ve been in a prayer room in Govan several times this week, I’ve been reading blog reflections and more on the cross, I’ve been reading the Gospel narratives… and my heart is harder than I’d like to admit.

I’m so thankful God holds me, even when (maybe especially when?) I’m not so good at holding him…

and you held me and there were no words
and there was no time and you held me
and there was only wanting and
being held and being filled with wanting
and I was nothing but letting go
and being held
and there were no words and there
needed to be no words
and there was no terror only stillness
and I was wanting nothing and
it was fullness and it was like aching for God
and it was touch and warmth and
darkness and no time and no words and we flowed
and I flowed and I was not empty
and I was given up to the dark and
in the darkness I was not lost
and the wanting was like fullness and I could
hardly hold it and I was held and
you were dark and warm and without time and
without words and you held me

[ And You Held Me by Janet Morley ]

HT: Anna Poulson, on the Grace Lent blog


3 Responses to “And You Held Me”

  1. 1 Rose March 23, 2008 at 12:10 am

    I hear you, Emma. I am feeling the same way tonight. But, tomorrow morning, way too early, I will go to sunrise services at Arlington National Cemetary. Maybe it will all sink in then….Happy Easter! He is Risen!

  2. 3 emmsy March 24, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    @ rose: He is risen indeed! Glad the sunrise service was good.

    @ Friar_Tuck: cheers! I’ve been enjoying the book group with you!

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