Restless

I am realising over and over again how restless I am. I can’t keep my feet on the ground, can’t sit still. I want to be on the move. I want to be away out and free of the issues of daily living in the west. Or maybe even just free of the hassels of living in the UK. I feel alive when I travel. When I’m out on a wing and a prayer and all I’ve got is God in me. When I’m loving others.

Travel is deeply spiritual to me. I experience so much of God when I travel… new sights and sounds and people and places. People mostly. I met some incredible people this summer.

Anatoli has the biggest grin I’ve ever seen.

Tima likes to drive fast on dirt track roads, and yet he’s willing to come pick up a bunch of foreigners and drive for 4 hours in the middle of the night to get us to where we need to be.

Liga, Dima, Vicka… so many kids who stole my heart.

Levi, a man who has the love of Jesus overflowing his heart, who slips in and out of prayer without skipping a heartbeat. I want to have that too.

Jill, someone I should have met a long time ago, who has many of the same questions, issues and struggles as I do.

John and Ali, people with a passion for justice and the Kingdom come.

So many Spark-ers with a love for our own community.

And so many more… I can’t possibly name them all. I am so thankful for the opportunity to travel and to meet people that I have had this summer.

But this restlessness? Is it good? Is it ok? The reality is right now I live in Glasgow, I live in the western world. How do I become someone who lives out their convictions and pursues their passions in a place that stifles dreams, disregards Jesus, and is all about bigger, more, ‘better’?

I’m thinking a lot about what it means to make space in my life at the minute. I think that’ll be another post… but any thoughts?

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3 Responses to “Restless”


  1. 1 rickhill September 2, 2007 at 11:35 pm

    and i sometimes fear that making space means that i’ll become aimless. but that’s something to work out i guess. discover the purpose in every moment.

  2. 2 rickhill September 2, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    making space…hmmm…

    different for us all i reckon so something for you to work out. its about priorities i reckon.

    for me right now its about having more white space in my diary. more meals. more pints of coke with blackcurrant. more times reading my bible. more rounds of golf. more time shutting up. more times with sarah.

    but then the diary becomes crowded again!!

    God, what is on YOUR heart. Show me what to do.

  3. 3 emmsy September 4, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    Yea. I guess part of it for me is learning to live every moment to the fullest, whatever that means in that specific context. I think making space means more white space in my diary too… I am torn because I know I lead a very fast-paced lifestyle and most of the time I love it… but I’m not sure that living that fast, for so long, is healthy for me, mentally, physically, or spiritually. More thoughts coming soon…

    Ditto on the “God show me YOUR heart.”


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